All I Want For Christmas

Yesterday morning after work I decided to cram in some Christmas shopping.  I'm not a big shopper (understatement of the century), but I couldn't avoid it.  Last year I made the mistake of ordering all of my gifts over the internet, which suits me just fine.  Unfortunately, I didn't have Amazon Prime last year, and I didn't pay close attention to delivery dates for my gifts.  Actually, let me rephrase that- I did pay attention to delivery dates, but I ordered from a hodge-podge of websites and didn't pay attention to processing times or make sure everything I was ordering was in stock.  Can you tell where this is going???  R is like a little kid at Christmas time, so when Christmas morning rolled around and his gifts were not waiting for him under the tree, he was beyond hurt.  All I can say is never again!   Two years ago qualifies as the worst Christmas ever of course- as I've already mentioned, I lost my job just days before, and we were in escrow for our house...  I'd already cleaned out my savings account for my contribution to the down payment, etc. etc....  WORST CHRISTMAS EVER.  But last year was a close second!

I couldn't let that happen again.  I still used the internet for my some of my shopping this year, but not for R's most important gift-- I didn't want any surprises!  So off to the mall I went.  Fortunately, things were open early, so I was in and out of there fairly quickly.  Then it was off to David's Bridal to pick up two of my bridesmaid's dresses.  I thought I was timing things perfectly, and in fact when I rolled up at David's, the clock in my car read 11:05 am.  David's opens at 11:00, so I was pleased with myself!  I wanted to hurry up and get home so I could get some sleep.  But surprise- I went to the door, gave it a gentle tug with another shopper right on my heels- and when it didn't open, I remembered that the clock in my car is still set to daylight savings time.  What to do??  I wasn't thrilled with the notion of sitting in my car for an entire hour.  David's is in a pretty big strip mall, so I scanned the parking lot for someplace else to visit, started up my engine and puttered over to the nearest store...  Babies R Us.

Babies R Us was already hopping with shoppers at 10:00 am.  I was glad for that-- clearly I was someplace that I didn't belong, and I immediately felt self-conscious.  I was glad that there were other shoppers milling around and keeping the employees from hovering.  I never enjoy it when store employees hover!   As I wandered from aisle to aisle, I told myself that I was there looking for a gift for someone else.  That was my "cover".  Yes, we live in a free country, and one doesn't have to have a reason to be in a store, but it made me feel better to have a logical cover story as I wandered around.  At first, the store reminded me of being in Petco or Petsmart...  Dog beds= baby beds.  Dog food=baby food...  There's so much paraphernalia for babies.  I looked at the boppy pillows, including the lines that are on sale!!  for $30!!  The same price as the "naked boppy", but with a cute cover already. Great!  For a millisecond I thought about getting a cart and loading one up.  Such good prices!  Never mind that I not only don't have a nursing infant at home but also may never have one...  Irrelevant!  Maybe to make myself feel better I grabbed a bottle brush from an aisle that reminded me of the kitchen tools area at Bed Bath & Beyond or Linens 'N Things.  I've been needing one of those for my coffee mugs.  Baby bottle, travel coffee mug....  Close enough!  I kept wandering, past the cute couples and huge preggie women.  Around and around the store I went.  I tested out the gliders- very comfy (especially after a long night at work and foray into the busy mall)!  But I never felt comfortable in the store.  I kept checking my watch, counting down the minutes, planning my escape.  Time wasn't passing quite fast enough, so I headed for the clothing area.  I had the brilliant idea that I would try on some maternity clothing.  Trying things on seems to always make the time go by quickly.  And anyway, there were more things on sale!  Sale!  You may not need it, but it's a bargain!

I must confess I've tried on maternity clothing before.  With two beautiful, energetic angels, my sister is done having kids.  Her friends are, too.  So maternity clothing that has been passed around from person to person landed on me a month or two ago.  I tried it all on, and even hung it up in one of the spare rooms' closets in our house.  That closet also has my bridal gown...  Sort of like a hope chest I suppose- a repository for wished-for things.  Well, as I pulled sale clothing off the racks at Babies R Us, the self conscious feeling crept back in and became overwhelming, so I began looking anxiously for the dressing room.  What?  No dressing room?  I couldn't find one.  I paced from the clothing racks to a back wall where I spotted an employee, but decided against asking for help and bolted back to the racks to unburden myself.  What was I doing??  Get me out of here!  I checked my watch again-- almost 11:00, whew, what a relief!  I headed for the registers with my bottle (er, coffee) brush and a CD of Lullaby's (couldn't resist) and a few maternity tops and bottoms- if anyone asks it's a gift, I told myself.  Silly me!