A Little Bit of Self Discipline

Yesterday I blogged that in the three months that I have left until my wedding day, I probably could lose some of the weight that I've put on.  I know that plenty of women go all out before the big day in order to fit into a smaller dress, etc.  I know in theory that it can be done.  I'm familiar with the basic science of weight gain/ loss:  3500 calories (kilocalories)= 1lb. Consuming 3500 calories that the body doesn't need results in fat storage equivalent to one pound of weight...  Conversely, "burning" 3500 extra calories results in a weight reduction of one pound.  Most physicians advise that weight loss of 1-2 lbs per week is safe...  So if I was to cut 500 to 1000 calories from my diet per day (or burn this many calories by ramping up my cardio routine), I could safely lose 12 to 24 pounds by the big day.  It's not rocket science--  it's basic math.  Easy as pie, right?  If only!

The problem isn't a lack of understanding, it's a lack of self-discipline.  As I mentioned yesterday, I'm insufficiently motivated.  I care, but I don't care enough to make major lifestyle changes for the sake of one day.  I also don't want to set myself up for failure.  Weight loss is tough enough without a self-imposed rapidly approaching deadline.

I could probably move mountains if I hit the gym everyday. Unfortunately, I don't feel like I have the energy to spare.  The shift that I'm working leaves me very tired.  I don't/ can't sleep properly, and this leads to a host of other problems.  Most notably, poor quality sleep can cause an increase in appetite via the hormone ghrelin, and also causes the body to increase production of the stress hormone cortisol.  Cortisol can result in increased belly fat storage, and increased belly fat can signal the body to store additional fat...  It's a vicious cycle! (I gleaned this info from the book Master Your Metabolism by Jillian Michaels-- I may not be remembering it quite right and can't fact check as I don't have the book in front of me at the moment).  Essentially, my body is working against me right now.

 Not to be a pessimist, but I don't think I have a real chance to regain my health and former weight until I get back to a nightly sleep schedule.  And as much as I'd like to do that, it's not an option right now or in the forseeable future.  Like it or not, I work nights.  I'm lucky to be employed at all.  A co-worker commented earlier, "The employed are the new rich!"-- those of us with jobs have hit the jackpot in today's economy.  And if we happen to have health insurance- OMG, we've really scored!  Sad, but this is the state of affairs in today's world.

 I joked yesterday about the desirable qualities of fat, and I think this is a far more healthy approach than obsessing about my weight.  I know that I'm making light of a serious problem- obesity leads to cardiovascular disease, which kills more women annually than breast cancer.  It increases the likelihood of developing diabetes, too.  It really is no laughing matter.  But there's another side to the story.  In our quest to spread the word about problems associated with obesity, health care professionals have forgotten about the dangers of eating disorders.  As the soon-to-be stepmom of a severely eating-disordered teen, I have seen how an innocent-enough obsession with health and avoiding fatty foods can morph into something deadly.  Am I oversimplifying a complex set of disorders that have more to do with self esteem and body image than they do with food?  Yes, of course I am.  But in the case of my stepdaughter-to-be, a jr. high health class and overzealous instructor may have set the ball rolling. 

I don't want to obsess about my weight, and despite the recent attention here on the blog, for the most part it's not on my radar.  I barely give it a second thought except that I can't fit into my clothing, which is extremely annoying! My weight is not important but being healthy for myself and for my family is.  R and I have a very cool scale at home that does much more than provide a weight.  It also analyzes body composition and assigns a metabolic age.  I've owned this scale for about three (maybe four? years now), and during that time I've always been much younger than my chronological age.  It's fabulous- a huge self esteem booster! After years of being in my twenties (once I was even 18!) I'm now several years older than I should be.

So, in the spirit of regaining my health and being in my twenties again, I'm taking the following measures (starting yesterday!):
Firsly, I'm writing down everything I eat.  Studies have found that the act of recording what one is consuming leads to eating less.  I'm not sure why this is, but I've done this in the past and found it to be highy effective.  At the time, I had a Palm smartphone with Calorie King software installed.  Not only does looking up the nutritional information of what is consumed provide tremendous insight about how worthless some foods are, but I think the act itself of having to look things up is a deterrent.  If eating something means I have to look up the info, record it, etc., then maybe it's just not worth it!  For once, laziness has fringe benefits!  Since I no longer use my oldschool Treo, I'm using the online version of Calorie King this time around.  Although there are very cool software programs out there that enable one to keep track of nutrition and fitness and perform sophisticated analyses, I'm doing things the old-fashioned way and recording my data with pen and paper.  The paper isn't just any paper, however.  Instead I'm using these very cool sheets designed by Levenger for their Circa system.  On one side I can record nutritional info, and on the other, fitness data.  Right now the fitness info for me is pretty sparse; my "routine" consists of spending 25 minutes walking the stairs at work.  I don't do it everyday, but when I do it feels great!  Yesterday I walked up and down the 5 flights of stairs 10 times.  That's my best for now- not a huge accomplishment, but definitely better than nothing at all!