Privacy

My husband will never join Facebook.  Neither will my sister.   Why?  Privacy.  Now mind you, my sis is what my grandmother would call a gadabout- according to Merriam Websters, this is a person who "flits about in social activity"- she's very involved with other people.  She has a lot of friends, many of them are on Facebook, and several have repeatedly attempted to get her to set up an account.  Heck, even I've tried (and I'm not known for my sociability, ok?).  It's not that she doesn't care about her friends, or want a new avenue for keeping in touch, sharing photos, etc., but she worries about the loss of privacy and the blurring of personal with public information.

My husband has been on facebook only a few times.  With my oversight, he's been on my account to look at photos friends posted of our wedding and also to view a slide show created by our professional photographer.

When he saw some pictures that I'd posted of the two of us, he was bothered.  He doesn't like the idea of people who may or may not be important to us sharing in both the intimacies and the trivial bits of our lives.

I've been thinking a lot about Facebook myself lately, and I get it.  I wonder sometimes why I'm there- After months of feeling irritated with the divisive postings of a former friend (if you would call him that) I finally changed a setting on my account so that I don't see anything that he posts, unless it is posted directly to my wall.  I did the same thing for the former co-worker who flaked on coming to my wedding.  Why?  I don't really care about either one of them.  Why should I?  And yeah, the idea of these people who don't matter being acquainted with the details of my life is a little troubling. 

Then there are the cousins I was so happy to have a means of keeping up with.  In reality, we don't talk much- either I'm not interested in their lives, they aren't interested in mine, or we're mutually uninterested.

Over the past week or two I've deleted nearly all of my photo albums and personal information (former employers, schooling, etc) from my account.  It's no longer a platform for sharing who I am with others.  Instead it's just an open line of communication that can be used by a small group of people (mostly family) if ever they do want or need to reach me.  That's how I'm going to maintain it for now.

Apparently, there are politicians (and probably plenty of plain folk, too!) who use Facebook to promote a version of themselves that may or may not be based in reality.  Smiling photos on the beach, witty quotations, etc. etc.- it's all carefully selected and promoted.  It's marketing, really.  Well, blah.  I'm not into that right now.

That brings us to this blog...  Too much information?  Too intimate?  And what of the matter of blogging in general?  For me, this is like keeping a journal.  It's a way to clear my head, and I don't plan to stop.  I've tried to depersonalize it for the sake of my husband- eliminating our names and such.  That's cool...  I guess it's kind of creepy to think of anyone actually reading about us.  Especially if they know us :)

I follow a lot of blogs, and what a mess that is!  I can't figure out how to stop receiving updates from them.  I love some blogs (my favorite two right now are written by women who live in the city I live in- they take photos and explore the neighborhoods).  Some blogs are annoying (yep, I'm referring to the unnecessary quotation marks blog in particular), and others are too personal.

I need some distance!  I was thrilled beyond belief to find the blog of an old friend, and I hung on every word and photo.  Then she quit posting much, and I have to wonder if my zeal for her personal life played a part in that.  I commented on a few postings, and became a "follower"...  Did I creep her out?  That's the thing about blogging....  It's a lot of fun when it's anonymous.  Or when you have absolute control over who is following.  But when people find you via your blog, when you may have preferred to stay hidden from them...  That's a problem.  So sorry N&J, for stumbling over your blog and getting way too excited about it.  I guess if fate had intended for us to remain friends, we would have!  I wish you well, and I wish you a measure of privacy in your blogging universe, if that's what you desire.