Trying To Stay Positive

The past few days I've been wallowing in the sadness of my current "catch 22"- yes, I got into the Nursing Program, Hallelujah!  I can start to move on and accomplish something with my life.  I am so ready!  The catch is that it means postponing having a child.... 

But I've found a silver lining with postponing motherhood.  I just read that the likelihood of having twins increases with older maternal age...  The older woman produces more Follicle Stimulating Hormone.  Fascinating.  Being overweight also increases the likelihood of conceiving twins!  Woo hoo, I knew there was a plus-side to being chubby!

I want twins.  I want twins because my husband only wants one more child, and I want more than one.  With twins, it's a "two-fer".  He wouldn't be able to refuse or resist.  Afterall...  Who doesn't love twins?  A boy and girl would be perfect.  I can dream, can't I?

There are plenty of negatives associated with having kids late, but right now I'm going to focus on the positives.  In addition to the greater likelihood of twins, there's also the fact that older parents tend to be more stable (emotionally, financially, etc.).  If and when I have a child, he or she is going to be SO wanted, SO cherished, celebrated, and appreciated...  That's a positive!  I just have to hang in there.  And I have to trust that I will have a healthy child someday. 

I don't know what I'd do if I conceived a child with Down Syndrome...  For several years, my mom and I have volunteered with Down Syndrome kids at the Buddy Walk event in Orange County.  They can be beautiful, amazing kids, but they are challenging.  I hope for a child without limitations.  So I pray that my eggs and R's sperm can stick it out for two more years.  If that's what it's going to take, so be it.