I think I'm going to have to change the name of this blog to "Dear Diary"... It is less about my many projects and more an outlet for writing down whatever is on my mind... Not that there's anything wrong with that, but I don't know that I have much to say of value to others. So it seems to have devolved into self absorbed ramblings... Oh well, I guess there's no harm in it, so I won't worry about it! Who says I have to contribute anything more than that?
So what's on my mind this morning... Two things, really. Firstly, career plans, and secondly, what is up with married men with kids shamelessly flirting with single women?? Let's start with the juicier topic...
As director of safety for the medical center where we work, R is a one man show (a department of one!)... but was able to hire an employee with grant money about a year ago. The employee is a beautiful twenty-something Korean woman. She's hip, she's young and she's extremely cute. In fact, she's simultaneously cute and exotic looking (lucky her for being able to pull that off!). I'd be worried, except that R is not the cheating variety of man, thank God. Anyway, a few of his coworker/friends are totally fascinated/ obsessed with her... and they all go out to lunch on a regular basis. No big deal, whatever, right? Except that one of the obsessed men happens to be married with small kids at home. Again, whatever, why should I care, right? Flirting isn't against the law. But a few days ago, R was talking with her at the end of the day, and this married guy called to tell her goodnight... and apparently he does it every single day. Men will be men, I suppose, but what's disturbing to me is that his wife (his beautiful wife) coincidentally teaches my Optifast class. So now "whatever" becomes "creepy!"
I had a fun experience of my own with this. One of my ex boyfriends (the last before R) emailed me out of the blue a few years ago... Again, whatever, it's the sort of thing that happens all the time. So I asked him what happened with the woman he got together with after me (who basically was the reason our relationship ended). It turns out they married... And had two kids! So why was he contacting me? I guess "She wasn't who she claimed to be" and "She's crazy". Great. I kindly, gently admonished him to try to work it out and try to see the qualities that drew him to her in the first place. I never heard from him again after that, fortunately. I was already with R, but even if I wasn't- as if I would want anything to do with that! Puh-leez. He made his bed, now he needs to sleep in it. Or, "he made his choice, now he needs to sleep with her"! Or find some other woman with no self respect to help him violate his vows.
Background: he was an old work associate from before I went off to school that I really liked. We had gone to an airshow together a long time ago, but otherwise didn't ever hang out. He was married when I first met him (I only went to the airshow with him because he told me a group would be going. It ended up being just the two of us- being very naive, I didn't think anything of it at the time. But it was special- it rained that day and he literally held an umbrella over my head the entire time). Anyway, after I graduated from Cal and was back in Southern California, he tracked me down. He was newly divorced, and I was living with my grandmother in Whittier. My dad had passed away a month or so before he contacted me, and (silly me, again being naive) it seemed like fate or destiny or something- it seemed like maybe my dad had worked some sort of heavenly magic and placed him in my life. I say this because he is someone who reminded me of my dad, so his arrival just seemed "meant to be"- we had a whirlwind few months, and I even went with him to the country where he was born, and met his family... We went to a lot of museums while we were traveling (air museums, of course!). Then he met a woman who was a skydiver... That pretty much sealed my fate. How could I compete with that. But as it turned out, it was all a lie- she told him she was a skydiver, but had actually only done it once (and had to be pushed out of the plane, she was so freaked out). So she succeeded in putting him under her spell, and he fell for her, but what can I say... He should have done some fact checking before getting married and having two kids. I have no sympathy!
My point though, is not to rehash stupid stuff about stupid men... It's to ask why it is that married men with kids think it's ok to flirt (like that co-worker of R's). Maybe some do so totally innocently, but some are probably shopping around for some extramarital activity... Shame, shame! I was talking with R about it, and he said the problem is that with small kids at home, a woman who starts off as "the wife" becomes "the mom"- and just isn't sexually attractive anymore (for some men). How sad! Gee, if we have a kid I hope that doesn't happen.
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