I'm at work right now, on my "lunch" (yep, lunch at 4 in the morning!). A while ago, I checked my email, and there it was: My acceptance to the nursing program! The letter began with congratulations-- there were over 400 applications for the 48 positions. Understandably, I'm in a state of gratitude and joy as I write this!
I am so ready to "do something with my life". It has been tough being in a holding pattern for such a long time. Moving into our new home two years ago and then getting married this year have been a huge help- I've been distracted from my feelings of failure. Actually, I've been immensely happy this year. Having the house, having a stable job, and being married have been such a tremendous blessing. The lows in my life over the past decade have been so low, and now things are altogether good. I have to pinch myself sometimes. Before I left for work last night I got a scare- I had gone to bed around 7 pm after the news, and woke up to my alarm at 10:30, and I couldn't find my husband. He wasn't in bed or napping on the couch (despite having to be at work early in the morning). I knew something wasn't right, because the window shades throughout the house were open. He is a creature of habit, and always closes everything up when it gets dark outside. But the dogs weren't acting funny, so that was a good sign. He had fallen asleep in the office (probably checking hockey scores on the computer!). What a relief! Still, I had several minutes of panic. The problem with life being really good is the fear that things will change. I don't feel prepared for that.
Well, having a secure future as a nurse will help to alleviate my worries. I will be capable of self sufficiency, and I'll be in a career where it's impossible to lose sight of one's blessings. That's a good thing. I just have to find the right specialty for my personality and needs. Looks like I've got two years to figure it out!
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